02: Hang in there, spring is around the corner
I grew up acquainted with the fact that there are four seasons throughout the year. Although, in my reality, there were only two… and a half. Growing up in Brazil, the weather was either warm in the morning and terribly warm and rainy the rest of the day, slightly cold in the morning and warm during the day (which we’ll count as half), or an intense cold that chills your bones and makes you want to hide under all your blankets and have a stew. That was it. Change in scenery? Nothing too perceptible. In September the ipês bloomed. Besides that, all green and tropical, all year long, as far as I remember, anyway.
Because of North American influences, though, growing up I knew that there were places where all four seasons were clearly distinguished. Disney cartoons and blockbuster movies taught me that spring was all about flowers and planting a garden, and summers were all about enjoying the sun and playing outside, although I had access to both year-round. Fall was about leaves falling outside, and winter was all about snow, although I had never experienced either. It wasn’t until my 20s that, I had a glimpse of what a life with four seasons looked and felt like. It’s been almost thirteen years now, and so far, I can say… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.
The best way I can describe how I experience living in a place with distinct seasons (if you can call Saskatchewan that) is like having a second circadian rhythm, a stretched circadian clock that layers life out in the most inconvenient and (sometimes) fantastic ways.
I’ll explain. Think about waking up to a warm sunny day, it’s Saturday, and you’re meeting your friends outside to grab drinks. That energy—that’s summer energy. Except this Saturday lasts three full months. Someone died? You have to work and your boss sucks? You had a disagreement with someone you love? It doesn’t matter, it’s summer. As soon as we get consistently warm days, and enough sun to temporarily cease our semi-permanent vitamin D deficiency, I feel summer energy coming and flooding my body. And, I won’t lie, it fills my cup. I love it. I wish I could stay in it forever. But, part of me still struggles with how precious and rare summer days are here, while growing up they weren’t. I often feel burnt out by the end of summer, feeling like I miss time and space to introspect, while also feeling I could’ve made better use of the warmer days—an impossible balancing act.
Spring and Fall often feel like a string of days in anticipation of whatever is coming next. And winters, oh winters. Whatever the summer energy is, winter is the opposite. If summers give me a boost, winters weigh heavy on me—smiling is harder, moving is harder, being is harder. Everything demands a bit more energy and effort. And, while finding happiness in summer is easy, finding it in winter is like looking for my keys when I’m late to leave the house, a struggle.
The extreme temperatures play a role in it, but the isolation is what affects me the most. Winters in South America were cold, especially without heaters and insulated walls, but winters were also full of parties with plenty of dancing, eating stew and memory-making.
I am not moving back to Brazil anytime soon, although part of me wishes that will happen sometime. I guess I just miss the abundance of warm days, with no rush, always knowing tomorrow is going to be another warm day, and if it wasn’t, the next day would be. For now, all I can do is hang in there, spring is around the corner. 🌼
What I watched this month
My movie fever severely subsided in February, and I don’t have as much to show for compared to January. But here we go:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Poor Things: I really liked this movie, and want to rewatch it sometime. Although it was a male view of white women’s experiences, it was nonetheless about women’s experiences, something still somewhat rare. I couldn’t quite decide whether Emma Stone’s acting was great or terrible while watching, as it made me kind of uncomfortable. I guess it was great, she won an Oscar.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ American Symphony: is a Netflix documentary about a multi-Grammy winner, and how he navigates life as his wife is going through cancer treatment. It was a good reminder that everyone is going through things under the surface, even if appearances or social media say otherwise.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Naomi Osaka: this is a three-part series about the world-famous Japanese tennis player. The show was super well done, to the point I couldn’t binge it, because I needed breaks to feel and process what she was going through. Osaka is so real, and her feelings are relatable. Neither hero nor villain, she’s finding her way.
Honourable mention this month to Love is Blind. The show is more and more giving Hunger Games vibes, especially during the reunion, and I’m here for it.
What I listened to
⭐️⭐️⭐️ A Court of Thorns and Roses: I am not usually a fantasy girly, but something about this audiobook kept me going. The beauty and the beast vibes were close enough to the original plot to keep me engaged knowing what was going to happen, while the mysterious blight kept me intrigued for a good chunk of the book. I don’t think I would’ve been able to hold my attention if I were reading the book, but it was an engaging enough listen.
What I did
February brought a bit more of the same, and not much new happened. Here are this month’s highlights:
Miguel’s love for trains is stronger than ever, although Mickey Mouse and Sonic made progress on his interest list.
Enjoying a solo night, with some pasta and a movie.
When your date is more interested in trains.
My love for indoor cycling is taking a hiatus, I’ve been enjoying running lately.
Brazilian music classes are still a hit.
Chaos before bedtime.
